<\/p>\n
Break ups are evil. Whether it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been a long-term thing or that bit shorter, but accompanied by high hopes, deciding that enough is enough, or worse, having someone decide that for you, is one of the least entertaining things you can do with another person. You may know, in your heart of hearts, that things need to end because they haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t been \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcright\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 for a while, but accepting that and acting upon it is a whole different ball game.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I may be talking out my proverbial behind, but there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a phoenix factor involved with the end of a relationship (maybe not one that only lasts 2 weeks I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll admit, but longer intervals\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6). As the dumped as opposed to the dumper, you can feel burnt, your spirit all but extinguished, with serious self-worth questions hanging over your head. When you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve invested so much emotionally and physically (there are times when you have to include financially) into something, and it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just popped out of existence, you go into shock. You know you have to find some way to cope, but exactly what you can do to help isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t always terribly clear. So you get a new haircut, find a new hobby, heck, change jobs and move countries, and you examine your life in a different way. You don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need to reinvent yourself, just reacquaint yourself with the fact that no, you are a damn cool person who has been underappreciated for far too long. You can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t exactly put it on a resume, but you will be a stronger, better person having gotten over a relationship than you ever were when in it. Learn about yourself, and become better through the experience.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Now it might not be a popular thing, but I also want to send out a little bit of love to the people who have done the breaking up, the heartbreakers, if you will. As long as someone\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not a serial destroyer of souls, I feel like it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all too easy to forget, as you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re in your own personal pit of despair or witnessing the complete emotional breakdown of a friend, that the relationship has ended for the other party too. In most cases (unless things are really f**ked up) someone doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t end a relationship because they actively hate their partner and want to see them suffer as much as possible. On many levels it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a very brave thing to break up with someone knowing all the crap that will entail. By breaking up with someone, you are inviting animosity, vitriol and the possible loss of shared friends, all whilst knowing you have caused someone you like (just not as much as you thought you did) pain. You think they want to go through that?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
There will perhaps be arguments about \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcwhy didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you talk to me about x \u00e2\u20ac\u201c we could have sorted it out\u00e2\u20ac\u2122, but surely that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a pretty good sign that the relationship wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t in that great of a state, if your partner didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t feel comfortable even mentioning that they weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t happy. At that point talking things out probably won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t help. It may take a while, but look back over things, and you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll sometimes find yourself wondering why the hell things weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t over sooner. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the whole \u00e2\u20ac\u02dchindsight is 20-20\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 thing.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
A little part of you may always want to scream at \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcthe Ex\u00e2\u20ac\u2122, but you might also want to shake their hand. Think about where and who you are now. How did your relationships\/break-ups get you here?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And you never know, you might eventually remember why you did<\/i> get on in the halcyon days of your relationships, be able to separate that from the naked-writhing aspects of the entanglement and, shock-horror, be (dare I say it?) friends.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Disclaimer \u00e2\u20ac\u201c If someone has another piece of derri\u00c3\u00a8re to hop onto all lined up when they break up with you, ignore the above. As a very pragmatic person I will accept that if the subsequent relationship lasts for at least 6 months (and that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s being nice), the Ex might not be a dick, anything less and drag them over hot coals because they deserve it for breaking your\/your friend\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s heart. There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s nothing admirable about wandering eyes.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I.C.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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