So, you might have met him on the train, at the supermarket (no comment *guilty look*), at work (no comment, again), at the gym, walking home from the movies, at the movies, at your Soho hair salon, while shopping for that \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcmust have\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 scarf to match that \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcneeded to have\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 sweater you bought last year, at church (no comment, again), at a friend\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s BBQ, while partying with your girls, or just sitting at the park. But one thing was sure: he made the first move!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
In the gay fraternity, all (or most\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6.) gays are equipped with two things: impeccable oral presentation skills and a GAYDAR. Now, if you are asking what a GAYDAR is, you should be glad you found this blog! A GAYDAR is a gay-guy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s inner instinct that tells him if someone (he has come in contact with) is straight or gay (as we will<\/i> know). This GAYDAR becomes more reliable over time and as one gets more \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcseasoned\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 in Gayville. Some GAYDARs are so good\/reliable that it can pick out a guy on the \u00e2\u20ac\u02dc\u00e2\u20ac\u2122DL\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 out of a crowd of Muslims at prayer time at a Mosque! It can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be explained (or we just don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to give away the secrets!). I trust my GAYDAR; I follow it and I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think it has failed me \u00e2\u20ac\u201c It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just that the guys are so deep in the closet and denial that even if you are offering an \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcamnesty\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 to them to come out, they just get scared and deny deny deny deny!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Are we too hard on them? Do we expect too much from them? Come on! What exactly do they expect us to think when they were the ones who approached us with that charming, dashing smile, offered us a drink, invited themselves back to our apartments, arranged dinner for two, volunteered to go shopping with us at Victoria\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Secret, helped to choose our mother\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Christmas present, hung with us on our loneliest night and sat with us while waiting for bad news. I might not know much about \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcheterosexual male friendships\u00e2\u20ac\u2122, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sure they don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t involve all that (well, unless they are Indians\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 lolol… That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a whole new drama). So, should we have been blamed for thinking that they were gay? Shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t we have expressed our feelings? Were we wrong to have \u00e2\u20ac\u02dctried\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 something with all those signs pointing to \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcgreen\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 go ahead\u00e2\u20ac\u2122? Should the GAYDAR be responsible for these tragedies? Or maybe, just maybe it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a case of denial and NOT mistaken identity. Who knows?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Closet-case vs. Alien-among-us! Which is easier to deal with anyway? It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s like choosing between a volcano or a nuclear bomb; a plaid flannel shirts or a paper bag; advance calculus or advance trigonometry! Come on!!! OK! So, because our GAYDARs are programmed to pick up the slightest of \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcgay-rays\u00e2\u20ac\u2122, it will automatically pick up a closet-case. And for the record (I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know where I got this phrase from, but I need to return it\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6hmmmm), a \u00e2\u20ac\u02dccloset-case\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 is a guy who is obviously gay (I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m telling you, we always know) but he is stuck so deep in the closet that he brain-washes himself to think that he is NOT and often times burdens himself with a girlfriend and in the worst case scenario, a marriage without a prenup\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 and ten kids (God only knows how he got them). These are the ones who constantly reach out for help, ergo come across our radar. But somehow even though they are reaching out for help, they insist that they are \u00e2\u20ac\u02dc\u00e2\u20ac\u2122OK\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 and \u00e2\u20ac\u02dc\u00e2\u20ac\u2122STRAIGHT\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 (as we know).<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the top side (pun INTENDED\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6lolol), there are those few \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcaliens\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 who, for some reason, should have been born gay (as we know), but I guess the memo got lost in the mail. So they have been condemned to live a \u00e2\u20ac\u02dc\u00e2\u20ac\u2122STRAIGHT LIFE\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 (as we know). Then you might ask yourself, why do they constantly show up on the GAYDAR? Well, just say that although the memo was lost in the mail, you can always rely on those \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcchatter-boxes\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 who will pass on useful information. Somewhere in those aliens\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 DNA, their souls cry out for the good old \u00e2\u20ac\u02dc\u00e2\u20ac\u2122GAY LIFE\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 (as we know). Ergo, they subconsciously find and make gay friends just to be around fabulousness, which is gay; they try to acquire taste in fashion and fine arts, as the gays do; and strangely, from time to time, pretend to get drunk and make-out (to say the least) with a guy they feel comfortable with. [No comment, AGAIN\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 damn!!!]<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
For that reason, every time you meet a guy and your GAYDAR goes off, deep down you might hope he is not another case study, not another closet-case, not another alien. While the case-studies will make you pull your hair out; and the closet-cases take up all the space in the closet and may never come out, I guess the aliens aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t too bad, right? (At least the aliens know how to choose a good restaurant).<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Dwayne Cobourne<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So, you might have met him on the train, at the supermarket (no comment *guilty look*), at work (no comment, again), at the gym, walking home from the movies, at the movies, at your Soho hair salon, while shopping for that \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcmust have\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 scarf to match that \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcneeded to have\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 sweater you bought last year,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":55,"featured_media":2677,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false},"categories":[63,344],"tags":[121,64],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/12700.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2676"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/55"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2676"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2676\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2677"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2676"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2676"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2676"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}