{"id":5588,"date":"2016-03-01T05:06:45","date_gmt":"2016-02-29T20:06:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/?p=5588"},"modified":"2016-02-29T14:10:34","modified_gmt":"2016-02-29T05:10:34","slug":"pizza","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/2016\/03\/pizza\/","title":{"rendered":"Pizza<\/b>"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re anything like me (34 years old, six feet two inches, 96kg, orange birthmark above right eyelid) and you live in Japan and have a postbox, at least one hand, a functioning eye and a smattering of curiosity, then you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve probably received in the past, and subsequently read, one of the myriad of high quality glossy foldout menus that advertise Japan\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s defining contribution to international cuisine\u00e2\u20ac\u201c the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153complicated pizza.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Boasting flavour combinations that would make a horse blush (if the horse were in fact not horse but human, and maybe specifically a human with a deep sense of lingering unease when faced with unfamiliar combinations of food that humans eat), the Japanese pizza aesthetic has rampaged, like a giant hotdog filled Godzilla across the country, leaving a trail of crisscross patterned mayonnaise and sweetcorn bits in its wake.<\/p>\n

Boasting culinary delights such as the Mochi-Mentaiko pizza\u00e2\u20ac\u201c What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s that you say? Marinated cod-egg sacks and tasteless white goo that look like those little cubes you put in your toilet cistern\u00c2\u00a0that make the water go blue. At the same time? And with mayonnaise? And slivers of dried seaweed? And only \\3,100 for a large? \u00e2\u20ac\u201c PIZZA LA is the chief exponent of Japan\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s determination to remove any last remaining traces of authenticity, taste, heritage and value from one of the world\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s most popular foodstuffs.<\/p>\n

Exploring their website is like entering a reverse Narnia, with friendly lions replaced with sausage-rimmed bacon pizzas, and heartwarming journeys of self-discovery in fantastical wonderlands with corn cream soup. As an added bonus, you can actually choose between having tomato sauce or mayonnaise as the base for you pizza, thus being able to bypass entirely one of the main ingredients of the actual dish. Add to that the utterly bizarre monikers they have adopted for their proto-Frankenstein creations, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153busters\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 quarter,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d anyone? And you have a culinary disaster that could make even the most apathetical thoroughbreds weep.<\/p>\n

And I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sure you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll agree, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s truly nothing more rewarding than turning on the lava lamp, giving the shag carpet the once over, then inviting a potential suitor over to your abode and springing a\u00c2\u00a012 inch cheese-rimmed busters\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 quarter on them while they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not looking. If, however, the idea of snow crab meat pizza with a liquid cheese rim doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t so much float your boat as capsize it with a giant undercooked hotdog shaped iceberg, then perhaps you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re more suited to a pizza restaurant where the cod eggs have been replaced with basil, the mayonnaise with marinara sauce and the pizzas cooked in a wood firing oven rather than in the bowels of Beelzebub himself.<\/p>\n

\"SPattersonShiro\"<\/a>Situated in the town of Gunge in the heart of Sasayama, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Pizza Gunge\u00e2\u20ac\u009d is the brainchild of local Shiro, who took over the restaurant when it was serving Indian food and decided to use the wood firing oven to make pizzas. His marinara sauce is truly amazing: sweet and orange with a nice thick consistency rather than the deep red, watery, tart flavoured stuff you get elsewhere, and he keeps his pizza toppings pretty simple, using cheeses made in Sasayama and imported olive oil and tomatoes from Italy. I first met Shiro about two years ago when I started going out to Sasayama to volunteer at a local pottery studio and almost always pay a visit when I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m out there. The surroundings are pretty innocuous, just off a main road next to some rice fields, but if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re in the area and want to eat pizzas that A: don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have pre moulded bases in the shape of little\u00c2\u00a0cups that subsequently have liquid cheese poured in, B: don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to spend over \\3,000 to eat said cups C: are not mad, then it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s well worth a visit.<\/p>\n

As an added bonus, Shiro makes bread which is equally as good, and if you want some for free with your pizza just say: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I read Scott\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s article\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll give you a small loaf when you make an order. If you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want the bread but are a big fan of quizzical looks and awkward silences simply stare blankly ahead and say: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Horses don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like complicated pizzas,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d scratch your nose with your left hand three times, your right ear with you left elbow once, then make a hasty retreat, arms flailing by your sides like miniature windmills.<\/p>\n

\"SPattersonPizza\"<\/a>Gunge pizza, 852, Gunge, Sasayama, Hyogo, 669-2341.
\nTo get there, take the JR line from Sanda to Sasayamaguchi station. Take the west exit to get to the bus terminal and get on a bus headed for downtown. Get off at Nishi-Machi.<\/p>\n

Scott Patterson<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re anything like me (34 years old, six feet two inches, 96kg, orange birthmark above right eyelid) and you live in Japan and have a postbox, at least one hand, a functioning eye and a smattering of curiosity, then you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve probably received in the past, and subsequently read, one of the myriad of…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":105,"featured_media":5574,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false},"categories":[8,441,243,107],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/SPattersonGunge.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5588"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/105"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5588"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5588\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5574"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5588"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5588"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5588"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}