{"id":2138,"date":"2012-10-06T20:26:17","date_gmt":"2012-10-06T11:26:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/?p=2138"},"modified":"2012-10-06T20:26:18","modified_gmt":"2012-10-06T11:26:18","slug":"love-and-relationshipsgaydar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/2012\/10\/love-and-relationshipsgaydar\/","title":{"rendered":"Love and Relationships:<\/b>Gaydar"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>If you are lucky enough to\u00c2\u00a0be gay (eat your heart out\u00c2\u00a0bitches); have gay friends;\u00c2\u00a0even privileged to be in our\u00c2\u00a0presence (lol\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a privilege),\u00c2\u00a0or know anything about gay\u00c2\u00a0culture, you should have heard\u00c2\u00a0of the word, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Gaydar\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 (gay +\u00c2\u00a0radar = \u00e2\u20ac\u02dc\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcGaydar\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122). Each and\u00c2\u00a0every gay person is equipped\u00c2\u00a0with this \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcweapon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122. Come\u00c2\u00a0close to us and you might\u00c2\u00a0set it off; then begins the\u00c2\u00a0strip and search (*wink wink*).\u00c2\u00a0So, basically, according to the\u00c2\u00a0NEW OXFORD HOMO Dic(k)tionary, the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Gaydar\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 operates\u00c2\u00a0as a sixth-sense which tells\u00c2\u00a0us if another guy is gay or\u00c2\u00a0not; and to what degree. In\u00c2\u00a0some cases, even on a weak\u00c2\u00a0battery, the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Gaydar\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 goes off\u00c2\u00a0like a siren [that means, the\u00c2\u00a0person is gay as hell]. Damn!\u00c2\u00a0It is said that all gay men\u00c2\u00a0possess this gift and that we\u00c2\u00a0can sniff out a Gucci-perfumed\u00c2\u00a0man in the middle of peak hour\u00c2\u00a0on a Friday afternoon. And I am\u00c2\u00a0sure our lesbian counter-parts\u00c2\u00a0can sniff out the home-depot\u00c2\u00a0and timberland boots of a girl\u00c2\u00a0from a million feet.\u00c2\u00a0I thought my \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Gaydar\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 was\u00c2\u00a0pretty good, or was it just\u00c2\u00a0Jamaica? Maybe! Coming\u00c2\u00a0to Japan, it seems like my\u00c2\u00a0\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Gaydar\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 got thrown out of\u00c2\u00a0whack. I first noticed this just\u00c2\u00a0after I moved here. Japanese\u00c2\u00a0men are so different from\u00c2\u00a0Jamaican, or even western,\u00c2\u00a0men. They walk hand in hand;\u00c2\u00a0sit in each other\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s laps and are\u00c2\u00a0very physical with one another,\u00c2\u00a0and to top it off they wear\u00c2\u00a0jeans that are skin tight. Only\u00c2\u00a0a gay man would wear clothes\u00c2\u00a0that tight, I naively thought.\u00c2\u00a0But these Japanese are straight\u00c2\u00a0(or so they think)!!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
However long I live here,\u00c2\u00a0I still continue to question\u00c2\u00a0my \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Gaydar\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122. So, you have the\u00c2\u00a0guys who carry purses (no not\u00c2\u00a0wallets)\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 I mean full-fledge\u00c2\u00a0Christian Doir totes: they wear\u00c2\u00a0make-up (no, not lip balm)\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00c2\u00a0I mean as much make-up as\u00c2\u00a0RuPaul; and they go to the\u00c2\u00a0Salon (no, not the barber)\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00c2\u00a0I mean the hair salon with\u00c2\u00a0curling irons and perms. Yep!\u00c2\u00a0Our little Oriental guys are\u00c2\u00a0sporting coiffes that only the\u00c2\u00a0most fashionista gay men\u00c2\u00a0in the west would try to get\u00c2\u00a0away with. Name it and they\u00c2\u00a0are doing it: accessorizing,\u00c2\u00a0plucking\u00c2\u00a0eyebrows,\u00c2\u00a0tanning, fake\u00c2\u00a0tanning,\u00c2\u00a0listening to\u00c2\u00a0dance music\u00c2\u00a0and vogueing\u00c2\u00a0out to\u00c2\u00a0the latest\u00c2\u00a0disco diva\u00c2\u00a0or club track.\u00c2\u00a0Done, done and done!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I felt hopeless at this point.\u00c2\u00a0My once reliable \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Gaydar\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122, that\u00c2\u00a0has been with me since BIRTH\u00c2\u00a0has been compromised. I felt\u00c2\u00a0lost and confused.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
But what makes it worse\u00c2\u00a0is the difference between\u00c2\u00a0the guys in the city and the\u00c2\u00a0guys in the country. Holy\u00c2\u00a0Mary Mother of Jesus!!!\u00c2\u00a0Hold on to your bra straps,\u00c2\u00a0girls! The men in cities are\u00c2\u00a0virtually impossible to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153detect.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0Maybe I would need to borrow\u00c2\u00a0RuPaul\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Gaydar\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 to pick them\u00c2\u00a0out of a line-up. Talk about\u00c2\u00a0handbag carrying, wearing\u00c2\u00a0barrettes in their hair, painting\u00c2\u00a0their nails and carrying cute\u00c2\u00a0little dangly cartoon character\u00c2\u00a0charms on their cell phones\u00c2\u00a0or bags. And, they are often\u00c2\u00a0holding hands with a girl\u00c2\u00a0or seemingly\u00c2\u00a0have girlfriends!\u00c2\u00a0It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s bizarre.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Japanese guys are\u00c2\u00a0more touchy-feely\u00c2\u00a0with each other\u00c2\u00a0than anywhere else\u00c2\u00a0I have been (except\u00c2\u00a0India\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 LOL\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 Now,\u00c2\u00a0that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s another\u00c2\u00a0story\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6. seriously\u00c2\u00a0it is). I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve personally\u00c2\u00a0witnessed what looked like\u00c2\u00a0groups of average sports-playing\u00c2\u00a0teen guys fiddle with each\u00c2\u00a0others\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 hair and put their arms\u00c2\u00a0around one another\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s waists.\u00c2\u00a0And I assume they were\u00c2\u00a0straight. And if I should start\u00c2\u00a0telling tales about the Junior\u00c2\u00a0High School boys, now that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s\u00c2\u00a0another story too (so many\u00c2\u00a0stories to tell\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6.. damn!!!).\u00c2\u00a0The JHS boys literally play\u00c2\u00a0with each other\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s dicks and\u00c2\u00a0poke their fingers in each\u00c2\u00a0other\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s asses. And these are\u00c2\u00a0the straight kids! The gay boys\u00c2\u00a0are at their desks reading\u00c2\u00a0books. (DO NOT LAUGH!!).\u00c2\u00a0No straight man in Jamaica, or\u00c2\u00a0western countries, would behave\u00c2\u00a0in an even remotely similar\u00c2\u00a0way. It takes \u00e2\u20ac\u0153metrosexual\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0to a whole new level.\u00c2\u00a0So, here is one of the many\u00c2\u00a0mysteries of Japan. How then\u00c2\u00a0does one tell if a man is gay\u00c2\u00a0here? Perhaps a lot of these\u00c2\u00a0strange specimens are in fact\u00c2\u00a0gay and just don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t admit it\u00c2\u00a0(and again, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s another<\/div>\n
story!). Surely, it is not possible\u00c2\u00a0for there to be so much\u00c2\u00a0cross-cultural confusion. \u00c2\u00a0And I know that with the\u00c2\u00a0\u00e2\u20ac\u0153keeping up appearances\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0and conformity which\u00c2\u00a0pervades Japanese culture,\u00c2\u00a0many gay men are probably\u00c2\u00a0forced to stay in the closet\u00c2\u00a0and dare not venture out<\/div>\n
(well, only between 10pm\u00c2\u00a0and 6am), in fear of not\u00c2\u00a0getting married (which\u00c2\u00a0is a big thing in Japan).\u00c2\u00a0Perhaps some of these\u00c2\u00a0men can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even come to\u00c2\u00a0grips with the fact that they\u00c2\u00a0are, in fact, GAY. It would be\u00c2\u00a0stepping out of the box way\u00c2\u00a0too much, and that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s sacrilege\u00c2\u00a0in Japan. So they grow up, get\u00c2\u00a0married and have kids, all the\u00c2\u00a0while secretly lusting after men\u00c2\u00a0and denying it to themselves.\u00c2\u00a0It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s sad if this is the case.\u00c2\u00a0And it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no way to live.\u00c2\u00a0I still haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t gotten to\u00c2\u00a0the bottom of this mystery.\u00c2\u00a0I hope someone can \u00e2\u20ac\u02dctop\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 me\u00c2\u00a0(pun intended!). My \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Gaydar\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00c2\u00a0is as shaky as ever and\u00c2\u00a0I need to get it recalibrated\u00c2\u00a0when I return to the west:\u00c2\u00a0the land where straight men\u00c2\u00a0wear polo shirts, baseball hats,stay away from tanning salonsand women\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s accessories and\u00c2\u00a0listen to hip hop or rap and\u00c2\u00a0play sports while gay men\u00c2\u00a0wear tight clothes, highlight\u00c2\u00a0and style their hair, accessorize,\u00c2\u00a0and groove to Madonna. Until\u00c2\u00a0then, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll stick to my Indian\u00c2\u00a0and Pakistani \u00e2\u20ac\u02dc\u00e2\u20ac\u2122diet\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122. [It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s about\u00c2\u00a0time I tell you that story…LOL]<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you are lucky enough to\u00c2\u00a0be gay (eat your heart out\u00c2\u00a0bitches); have gay friends;\u00c2\u00a0even privileged to be in our\u00c2\u00a0presence (lol\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a privilege),\u00c2\u00a0or know anything about gay\u00c2\u00a0culture, you should have heard\u00c2\u00a0of the word, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Gaydar\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 (gay +\u00c2\u00a0radar = \u00e2\u20ac\u02dc\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcGaydar\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122). Each and\u00c2\u00a0every gay person is equipped\u00c2\u00a0with this \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcweapon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122. Come\u00c2\u00a0close to us and you might\u00c2\u00a0set it off; then…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":55,"featured_media":2140,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false},"categories":[63,283],"tags":[287,288],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/gaydar1.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2138"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/55"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2138"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2138\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2140"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2138"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2138"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2138"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}