But how not to feel and act with craving for the wonderful things in life? How not to feel and act with aversion to life\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s pains? I jumped into Vipassana without quite understanding that this is its focus and purpose. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You have to go to the root of these things,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d they said. I pictured each person carrying varying sizes of personal baggage mountains. I imagined the time it would take to peel all those layers back (some much thicker than others) to get to the \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcroot level\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 underneath it all. How could any person uncover, or even hope to glimpse, this so-called root in a simple manner, and within the span of ten days?<\/p>\n
Because that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m talking about \u00e2\u20ac\u201c a ten day residential course with a lifestyle pretty different from what most of us are used to. Basic ground rules were things like total segregation of the sexes \u00e2\u20ac\u201c so I lived, ate, and meditated only with the women in the women\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s half of the center, walked in the women\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s garden, and saw the men only on their side of the meditation hall and from across the driveway that separated our garden from theirs. Noble silence \u00e2\u20ac\u201c that is, not talking, nor communicating with gestures \u00e2\u20ac\u201c with the other meditators (you can talk to the staff if you need anything or to the teachers if you have a question, naturally). No lying, stealing, or killing (this includes eating meat, incidentally, so all the food provided was vegetarian).<\/p>\n
The eating situation is kind of like being a kid again; there is what there is, and if you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like it, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just too bad. I think that in itself is a humbling technique. Also, we had fruit for dinner (not dinner\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6teatime\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 but it was at 5pm and was the last \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcmeal\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 of the day) which was sort of delightful.<\/p>\n Our days started at an hour I still consider pretty nuts, but there, and then, it just seemed like part of the lifestyle of the center, however temporary, you kind of get used to it. Every morning, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d be woken by the bell at 4am, chiming, and chiming again, to rouse us from sleep. From 4:30 to 6:30, we were to meditate either in the meditation hall upstairs or in our own rooms. 6:30 was breakfast and then a break until 8, when we would have an hour long group sitting session, meaning everyone would meditate together for an hour. At 9, we would have our morning instructions, and then meditate until 11, which was lunchtime.<\/p>\n At 1, we would begin to meditate on our own again, and then at 2:30 we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d start the afternoon group sitting. At 3:30, we would receive afternoon instructions and meditate until 5, which was tea time. During tea time, new students (me!) could have fruit, while older students (who had undertaken not to eat after noon) could have only tea, coffee, or water.<\/p>\n At 6, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d gather for the third and final group sitting of the day, followed at 7 by the discourse. For English speakers this was a video (for non-English, audio only) in which the teacher (S.N. Goenka, in India) would explain particulars, (somehow magically) answer questions I was considering asking at question time, and in general provide a context for what we were practicing. After this, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d return to the hall, meditate (the Japanese discourse usually took a bit longer than the English one, so I would have a break to brush teeth and otherwise prepare for bed) until 9, and then it was question time, or else bedtime if you had no questions. Lights out was 9:30, which seems early but ISN\u00e2\u20ac\u2122T if you get up at FOUR.<\/p>\n If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been counting, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s about ten hours of meditation each day. You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re doing it constantly, like it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s your job, and for these ten days, it basically is. During breaks, I was mostly walking in the garden, stretching, or napping. I started showering at 4 in an effort to be more awake for the 4:30 – 6:30 meditation time slot.<\/p>\n How I felt about the meditation changed from day to day. Some days I felt great, I was feeling it, everything was going just as I wanted it to \u00e2\u20ac\u201c I was alert, engaged, attentive, focused. Other days I sucked at meditation. I couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t stay awake, I couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t stop daydreaming or narrating or spinning my wheels, I couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t feel anything on my body. Sometimes I couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have removed the serene smile from my face with a pry-bar; other times tears would be streaming down my face for no discernable reason.<\/p>\n When I went to the assistant teacher during afternoon question time on about day seven to say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Why can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t I get it to work today if I could yesterday?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d The answer was this isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t about getting it to work, this is about facing reality.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153This isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t about getting it to work.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Contrary to my previous ideas on what meditation must be, what it must be for (sharper vision, clarity, quieting the mental noise, becoming more centered), this course was, and is, different. All those things are ancillary benefits<\/em> and almost prerequisites to the real core of what Vipassana is supposed to be about, and what it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s really supposed to do for you.<\/p>\n What the technique teaches is to become aware of sensations on the body, both pleasant and unpleasant, and to not react to them. To feel an itch, to observe it, to not seek its immediate undoing but rather \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Let me see how long it lasts. After all, no itch is eternal,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and by so doing, to understand at the level of physical experience that which everyone already knows<\/em> intellectually; that nothing lasts forever. That every feeling which arises also passes away, that every thing which lives also dies, that every object crafted or built must eventually, eventually, decay and fall away. And if nothing is permanent, then why get so upset? Why get so attached?<\/p>\n It makes sense; we all know that this is naturally so. Build something out of stone and it will last longer, but even that is not forever. Everything good needs replacing. Change is all there is. We know it, we know it. So why do we still get all bent out of shape about it?<\/p>\n The message behind the meditation is that there is this huge gap between knowing something intellectually and understanding it in a way that really sinks in and applies to your life. This gap is the difference between hearing about something, reading about it, knowing about it, thinking about it, and experiencing it for yourself.\u00e3\u20ac\u20acThe aimed outcome of the course is for a person to be able to enjoy good things without reacting to them with clinging and craving, and to endure unpleasant things without panic and aversion; to maintain equanimity at all times with the understanding that this too shall pass<\/em>.<\/p>\n I wanted to say, this is for everyone, (and it is!) but it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s also not for everyone. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s hard. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a little out there compared to the normal everyday life of myself and most of the people I am close to. I loved it, but I also hated it; I wanted to run away, I wanted it to be over. I wholeheartedly recommend it, but I hesitate to recommend something that was painful to do. And when I say painful, I kind of mean physically. My back pretty much hated me most of the time I was there. During the sittings of \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcstrong determination\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 (about the second half of the course, the one-hour group sittings become attempts to sit for the entire hour without changing your position) I understood the poetic description \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcsinging with pain.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 The course is great, but at times it also sucks. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s like medicine, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s like exercise: you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t always do it because it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s enjoyable in the moment. You do it because it does something for you.<\/p>\n Basically, to really understand it, you have to do it yourself. That was another message that was emphasized there\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 no one can give you understanding, you have to find out for yourself. And you shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t just take someone\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s word for it; you should pass your own<\/em> judgment based on your own<\/em> experience!<\/p>\n The course is completely free of charge, and there are two meditation centers in Japan, the older and more established of which is just over the border in Kyoto (not far from Sasayama). If you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have the nenkyuu now, you can always wait \u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 \u00e2\u20ac\u02dctil your contract ends in the summer, or even until you get back to your home country! Look at the website, see where the centers are, read all the things, and decide for yourself!<\/p>\n Link to main webpage: www.dhamma.org<\/a><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.hyogoajet.net\/hyogotimes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/medi-225x300.jpg\" "\\"medi\\"")
<\/a>It might seem like being unplugged and not speaking would be difficult, but I actually didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have much trouble with that personally. Occasionally I would want to tell someone something, and more often I would think of a question I wanted to ask someone regarding my future travels or plans. In my usual life, when thoughts like that come up, I either make a note or address it immediately (send an email, etc.), but during the course I had no pen, I had no notepad, I had no email. So things had to wait.<\/p>\n