Love and Relationships: HIStory
Yet another break-up and you are doing the post-mortem with your girlfriends over wine, cheesecake and cocktails. You ensured that the â€˜mixologistâ€™ is someone heavy on the vodka and light on the conscience. And every time you swear this is the last timeâ€¦ but deep down you know that it wonâ€™t be. We all do!! Then, tomorrow comes and you are still feeling like a plastic bag just drifting on the wind and you are screaming for a fresh start. And itâ€™s like Cher heard your prayers and out of nowhere your door bell rings; your phone rings; you get an email or text message; you looked over your shoulder while shopping; you get a complimentary glass of wine; the elevator door opens and wha-laa in walks â€˜HIS-toryâ€™ again to â€˜be there for youâ€™.
During high school, I wasnâ€™t too fond of History, but the older I get, the more I find myself approaching â€˜HIS-toryâ€™ with a new perspective. â€˜HIS-toryâ€™ is that guy who is â€˜right for nowâ€™, but you just canâ€™t get a relationship with him to workâ€“ strangely. He comes in every-so-often when you are at your lowest point, helps you â€˜get over an exâ€™, wines and dines you and puts another notch in your self-esteem. Rest assured, â€˜HIS-toryâ€™ knows exactly what he is doing!
So, here am I departing work on a dead beat Friday, heading to the city hall to curse someone as usual (they are terrified of me at my city hall), and my phone rings. I look at the number and think â€˜â€™Damn!â€™â€™. So, having drunk all the cocktails possible, ate all the cheesecake and been through post-mortem upon mortem, I think my doctor would prescribe a little â€˜â€™HIS-toryâ€™â€™. So, I answered the call and in walked HIS-tory. HIS-tory came into my life as fast as a Japanese orgasm (1 minute tops); and I thought to myself, â€˜â€™things are gonna heat up pretty soonâ€™â€™. Needless to say, within the hour I was sipping on some wine and before mid-nightâ€¦.well, just say I FELT BETTERâ€¦..
So, whatâ€™s the deal with â€˜HIS-toryâ€™? Does he have a radar that lets him know when you are lonely and vulnerable? Is he like a predator that just lies in the dark and waits for us to be â€˜availableâ€™ and easily devour-able? Or he is just an angel who is sent to help us through a rough patch in our lives and leaves when we are â€˜readyâ€™ to move on and re-integrate with society. Or is he a combination of all of the above (if thatâ€™s at all possible)? Break-ups are awful experiences in our lives and it messes with our self esteem, our self perception, and faith in people. On some level, I am glad â€˜HIS-toryâ€™ has that â€˜6th senseâ€™ and visits us from time to time, like the tooth fairy; and like the tooth fairy, leaves something under our pillow to help us sleep throughout the night while we recoup. There is only so much your friends can do; there is only so much retail-therapy can do; there is only so much a cocktail and clubbing can do to heal the pain of a nasty break-up. Helllllllâ€¦â€¦â€¦who doesnâ€™t like to feel needed? Who doesnâ€™t like the attention? â€“ I do, so I know you do, too.
So, hurry up with that post-mortem of your ex, drink that cocktail, eat an entire cheesecake, go shopping, go clubbing; and wait patiently for â€˜HIS-toryâ€™ to ride in on his big white horse to save you once again because you know you like it. But remember, â€˜HIS-toryâ€™ has to go back to his wife in the suburbs so never fall for him. LOLOLOLOLâ€¦