Failure! Who likes failure? I don’t! Failed friendships, failed marriages, failed relationships, and the lists go on. But failure is a normal part of life. Where it becomes tricky is when we FAIL to let go.
Human beings! We are a species that holds on to things until they are dead, eventually. We hold on to our first love, because that’s all we knew and it was as familiar as finding the toilet while sleep walking. We hold on to clothes, jewelry, and letters because they have some symbolic meeting in our lives. We are so wired to hold on to things that we fight to stay in a non-existent relationship; we hold on to our exes even when they have obviously moved out and on; we hold on to memories of ‘what ifs’; we cling to dreams we once shared of someone, knowing very much that they are only dreams and can’t be realized; we grab so hard onto the past as if it were able to be moved forward. But there comes a point when we need to snap the hell out of it and realize that holding on is just a self-defense mechanism and the only way forward is, forward!
Am I being a cold-hearted bitch? (don’t answer that) Or, is it not so easy to let go? Self righteous – I am not! Yes yes…I know you love him… Yes yes I know you think you should be together… Yes yes, I know that it’s hard… But nothing in life is easy! Letting go isn’t easy. But it’s what you have to do in order to save yourself. How many more lies are you going to believe? How many more times are you going to settle for second or third place? How many more nights do you want to go to cry yourself to sleep? How many more times are you going to forgive him? How much are you willing to compromise? At least if you are compromising, you should be getting something in return!
The clock has struck mid-night, Cinderella has lost her glass slipper, the carriage is turning back into a pumpkin, the horses are turning back into mice – It’s TIME!!!!! It’s time to let go! No one said it was easy! It wasn’t easy for me to let go of ‘him’. But I had to do it. I couldn’t bear to hear one more ‘’I’m sorry’’; I couldn’t stomach being placed 3rd, 4th and 5th place anymore (because of course, he comes 1st and ‘’she’’ 2nd); I couldn’t bring myself to sit across from him at another dinner while he sips his wine and tells me how much he loves me and then that’s where it ends; I couldn’t bear the burden of being the one who has to compromise, only to be lonely when I needed him; I couldn’t bring myself to admit to the fact that he had let go long long before (as a matter of fact, was he even on board?) and I was the one holding on to a failed relationship, just wishing I had someone to help me LET GO!!
Failed relationships aren’t the only thing we tend to hold on to. While a failed relationship might be more dramatic and heart-wrenching and cause you to pig out at an ‘all you can eat Chinese buffet’, eat an entire cheese cake and gallon of ice-cream and suffer the weight gain and pimple break-out (deeeep breath), a failed friendship can leave a bad taste in one’s mouth (and it’s not the taste you like… if you are even into that.. LOLOL). But an investment is an investment, whether it’s Wall Street, stock markets, a romantic relationship, or a friendship, and no one wants to feel like they have invested in the wrong ‘’scheme’’ and have been taken for a fool. So, sometimes instead of letting go we think we are fighting back by holding on. But this is one of those ‘’fights’’ that isn’t worth it. Why would you want to hold on to a state of emotional and psychological rejection by your partner? Why would you cling on to be mistreated and ill-treated? Why would you fight to be with someone who obviously doesn’t want to be with you and hence not fighting for you? Why would you continue to invest your last bottom dollar on him knowing that your investment is at high risk?
Fear! Fear cripples! Fear paralyzes! Fear holds us back! If we are not strong, fear will devour us and leave us empty! Fear prevents us from seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and hence letting go. Fear plays these little sick games with us and allows us to think that it would be better to stick with the loser guy that we have now, rather than venture out into the ocean’s deep and see what’s out there. Fear is evil! But, rest assured, where ever there is fear there is always a friend there to help us through the rough times. A friend who believes in us and knows that we deserve better than what we are currently being served! Sometimes all we need is a friend and guts to help us LET GO!