Going for Gold: 2014 Kansai Beer Olympics

Earlier last month some of Kansai’s finest beer enthusiasts came together to show off their drinking prowess in the 5th edition of the Kansai Beer Olympics. Keeping their glory days alive, over 60 competitors met on June 15 at Naniwanomiya Park, across the street from the Osaka Castle complex.

After initial greetings, applying sunscreen and choosing between beer and chuhai, contestants prepared themselves for six events, some already having a head-start due to the Japan v. Côte d’Ivoire match earlier that day. After each team’s name was introduced, including Team Kermit, Team Tough, and Team High Five, they began in earnest to think of the best team chant and “yo mama” joke. Although striving to bring out their inner cheerleader, most teams went with a loud and in-your-face approach, and many of the jokes garnered laughs thanks to teenage obscenity.

Creativity, however, was soon left behind as the five events went on to challenge both one’s drinking speed and motor skills. Teams paired off to play one another for one round of flip-cup, then individuals were given the opportunity to earn points for their team in limbo (yours truly coming in at a close third). Filling their glasses before each activity, contestants impressed the judges with their speed and endurance as they ran in a dizzy bat sprint, which involves running to a bat, spinning around it ten times, and running back so the next teammate can start. An uncoordinated five-legged race followed shortly after. Finally, as the sun sank lower in the sky and the afternoon cooled, players lined up in a no-hands relay for the last event where they quickly filled a bucket with beer, only to consume it even faster.

The annual event is the brainchild of Josh “Mojo” Gautreau from Little Long Beach bar in Shinsaibashi, whose leadership throughout the day is to be commended given the competition’s nature. As more and more alcohol was consumed, getting everyone to comply with the rules was a little like herding cats, but Josh and his team of judges did a wonderful job. However, the event’s success was also due to the number of gracious Kansai sponsors, many also found in the Shinsaibaishi area. The various businesses including Slices, Café Absinthe, The Little Clover, and Cinquecento, helped by providing sleek t-shirts for competitors and prizes for the winning team. Finishing around six in the evening after a full six hours, everyone made their way over to Little Long Beach bar for free appetizers and the announcement of the Olympic winners. However, by this point most people were happy enough to have participated in the day’s games and have something else in their stomachs other than alcohol. Alas, though sharing the top prizes with my team – \5000 to enjoy on pizza and another \15000 to cover the expenses at a number of Osaka’s fine nightlife establishments – felt great, I cannot say the same for the following day. Although Josh Gautreau will be leaving Japan this year, he will pass on the torch to keep the festivities going. Make sure to keep an eye out for the next Kansai Beer Olympics in May 2015.

Sean Mulvihill