Love and Relationships: Dress Rehearsals

OK! Hands down, Grey’s Anatomy rocks! I have never missed an episode and have no intention of doing so! In a recent episode, the doctors were separating a pair of Siamese twins and had to rehearse the surgery numerous times until they were satisfied that they were perfect. After watching this and bawling my eyes out (because Teddy’s husband died while Christina was operating on him), I went straight to my ‘zone’ and for my cocktail of choice [cosmo’] and I started to think of my past relationships and how wonderful it would have been if we had had the chance to rehearse.

With a sip of my cosmo’, it became apparent to me that the dead and the unborn have it easy! Life is hard: the daily uncertainties, the failures, the promises, the missed opportunities, the awkward encounters, the misunderstandings, the spills on your favorite sweater, a rip in your ‘date’ pants and a run in your stockings. How does one survive after each day?

We go to bed every night wishing that tomorrow will be better than today; then we wake up each morning, roll out of bed, put our faces on, and tighten our pony-tails in preparation for the world: a world where we only get to do it once. There are no dress rehearsals, no chance to make a mistake, no time to practice, practice and practice until you are perfect. So it’s either swim or sink!

In the performing arts, the actors and directors spend time going over the scenes. Every line must be remembered, every step must be practiced, every cue must be followed, everything must be perfect, or else! Rehearsals are integral to the performance. However, in life we are not so lucky to have a dress rehearsal and we only get one chance to do it and do it right, or else the consequences can be calamitous.

In a relationship, there are no scripts, no props, no setting, no directors telling you where to stand and what to say, no make-up artist painting your face the way it ought to be, no technical support helping you to find your ‘’light’’ and good side and definitely, no rehearsals: just you and your partner standing in the midst of a pool of uncertainty, which is your relationship, trying to survive another scene hoping that your performance got a standing ovation as the curtains close!

No one tells us what to say, how to act, where to stand, what to do, when to take a break, when to start over and there are absolutely no edits. One has to make his/her own scripts and scenes. And in doing so, we are prone to getting the lines twisted, ill-fitted costumes, dreadful make-up, bad lighting, and in many cases the wrong actors to play the right parts. With such a setting, it is impossible to have the perfect symphony. We don’t know when to ‘end-scene’; there is no chance of changing the script once it has been spoken; no way of shifting to a different scene and coming back to this scene later; and you run the risk of messing up the entire ‘production’ [relationship].

Imagine for a moment, two persons thrown on the stage life with no help, no support, no guidance, and no direction who are given one chance to create a masterpiece; how realistic is that? I am sure that many of us can attest to the fact that, in our former relationships, if we had the chance to do it over and over [and no, NOT THAT], we would have definitely gotten it right. If you knew that he would have caught you when you cheated, you wouldn’t have done it; if you knew that the argument would have led to an even bigger one and then she would have walked out, you would have never started it; if you knew that searching his phone and finding that text message would have caused your heart to break, you wouldn’t have; if you knew that running into your ex at the corner store would have caused you to question your love for your partner, you wouldn’t have gone to the store; if, if, if….

In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love. (Diego Marchi) Wouldn’t it be splendid if we had the opportunity to re-do our days; got a chance to see which bitch will try to mess with you, beforehand; somehow to get a glimpse of your failed relationships before they fail, and fight to keep you and your partner together; a way to peek in the immediate future to avoid all the dramas that you would have undergone, if you had known? Wouldn’t all that be fabulous? Well, no such luck!